Balance

So no pics with this one...but at my institute class tonight and this whole semester, we are talking about balance in your life. Tonight we talked about physical balance and the importance of eh hem, sleep. (among other things) Anyway, this is a HUGE challenge for me to have balance in my life in all areas, like physical, emotional, spiritual, and intellectual. I mean really, who knows a mom of toddlers who doesn't call other adults on the phone just to have some intellectual balance? Not that figuring out 5 million ways (no I am not exaggerating, have you met my 3 year old?) to answer why the sun is hot, isn't intellectually stimulating, but sometimes we just need to talk with grown ups. Also I should maybe read something challenging or stimulating...

And emotionally balanced? Oh there is such a thing? Sorry but I have completely forgotten there is even the possibility of this. One of the things we talked about tonight is that all the areas need to be in balance to help any area that is out of balance. THIS is my ticket, I think. If I work on not being so exhausted, run-down, intellectually and spiritually starving, maybe I can get this impatient, grumpy mama under control.

So...here is my goal. You are supposed to write down goals and tell other people so that you actually get them done, or so you feel guilty when you don't. But either way it's worth a shot right?

Physical goal: I get two because this is my worst area. I can't realistically sleep more right now, so it's more about the other parts. Make one healthi-ER food choice every day, like if I want ice cream, I'll have yogurt, or instead of a cookie I will eat a healthy muffin, or a carrot (don't laugh, I might actually eat a carrot, what's up doc style). Do one physical activity every day (dancing with the boys in the living room, going for a walk, sledding, etc.)

Spiritually: I am doing really well lately, knock on wood, I don't want to jinx myself. But I have actually been reading my scriptures almost daily (huge improvement) and praying. I have also sat through an entire sacrament meeting twice in the last month (a HUGE feat), and have gone to my institute class 3 weeks in a row. So, my goal is to keep doing this stuff. Actually my one new goal is to start teaching my kids more about the gospel, maybe reading to them from the book of mormon illustrated stories or something, or listening to primary songs a little....

Intellectually: Really I am too tired to exercise much in the way of brain cells. So...I will play tetris! :) I am a tetris addict. I don't know if this will really count or not, and I probably won't do it. I am a dry tetris-aholic. I know myself well enough to know I can't play it. It's opening a doorway I don't want to open. I get out of control. It's a good thing I don't feel this way about Ben and Jerry's. :)

So hopefully if I get these things in balance, then the emotional part will catch up. I know I am much less grumpy when I am well rested. Well rested you say? How does a mom with two toddlers get well rested? Truth? We don't. We just like to dream about being well rested. Dreams which are often cut short by crying babies or people checking out of hotels at random hours of the night. Oh wait, that's just me on that second part.

Well another point we talked about in my class tonight was that you have to take care of yourself first. The whole airline oxygen mask thing. I think this is a struggle for pretty much every mother I know. But I am going to try to not feel guilty when I do something for ME. I think I do a pretty good job of taking care of me, as much as I can, take baths, relax, get baby sitters when I can to get a break, eat a treat (no this does not conflict with my physical goal, the guest speaker in my class tonight said not to deny yourself when trying to eat healthier, or you will resent your diet choices and they won't last! So you have to make changes you are willing to do the rest of your life! I am willing to eat treats the rest of my life! I know I am a cheater, but it works for me...), watch a movie I like, read for fun (when not falling asleep), spend time with friends, girls night out, etc. So I am going to do that now knowing that I HAVE TO, and my kids NEED me to.

There you go, ramblings from an over-tired-newly-single-mama.

William and his teeth...

So, two days after Christmas, William went to Primary Children's to have anesthesia to get a cavity filled. The dentist discovered that his teeth are very weak and brittle and he had 8 pits where the enamel didn't form completely on his teeth. Not cavities (but he had 5 of those as well), but developmental pits. So, on top of this bad news and huge wake up call, he had what they call emergence delirium, when he woke up. Which means he went relatively psycho. He attacked me for about 15 minutes or so, tried to pull out his IV, and was thrashing around and screaming. Well, I gave up and Jason came in and within 30 seconds he was calm and quiet and drinking his slushee. Not fair. I lost it. It was a difficult day. Losing it and crying at the hospital brought out so many other emotions and made for a tough day. I figure I am allowed one tough day out of a month. So...who knows...somehow we will all get through it.

William is a cute guy though, and he is very photogenic. These pics are from surgery day. He has no recollection of them actually fixing anything, he thinks he never even went into the room with the big light (OR) and he doesn't remember freaking out as he woke up either. Good thing. We can all forget that part.





I know the last one is blurry, but Will has developed his camera smile. That's it. So cute.

Thanks!

To whoever the anonymous donors were to me at Christmas time. I have no idea if any of them read this, probably not, but if so, you know who you are. I had 3 anonymous Christmas cards delivered to me with $. It made the Christmas season so much smoother for me. I was able to get a new camera and start taking pics of the kids again. Here is the evidence of that! We had a good Christmas, spending it at Jason's house with the Santa Tornado as we called it. Santa was generous this year and the boys got spoiled. I think because William is now old enough to anticipate Santa coming, we took it and ran with it. He got a bunch of costumes since he is very into pretending, and most of them have weapons because he is having fun with that too. If he doesn't have a fake gun, he'll run around with the pole that keeps bad guys out of the sliding glass door, or a spoon or whatever, and shoot you with that! Hopefully this weapon fascination won't last long, or maybe the kitchen that Santa brought the boys will also help tone them down. :)

Happy New Year!

I need to post more despite the fact that sometimes life is difficult and I don't know what to say about it. I will say that my wonderful friends and family mean more to me than they will ever know and it is only by relying on them that I make it through the tough days. That being said, not all my days are tough, most are pretty good. I am just adjusting and finding my way and rediscovering what I want out of life.

So...to catch up...Our trip to N. California was amazing. The redwoods are definitely worth the 16 hour drive, with two little kids and not an adult to chat with. I am grateful for portable DVD players, even though the one I bought off craigslist for the trip out, died at Truckee and then I had to buy a new one for the ride home. It works very well though and I even watched a movie while I was in the bath the other day and loved every minute of it! It was great to see Rachel (who I need to call) and just get a little break before I came back, started working the next day and moved a week after that. Since vacation time is hard to come by at my job, I am re-living this vacation over and over and over until I can get another one. Which may be in the fall this year. My kids enjoyed the beach, they had never seen one before. Will loves that he got to see where Nemo lives. We relaxed a lot, played at the park, which had a river that was great and shallow and calm and a river beach of nice perfect rocks for throwing into the river (one of Will's favorite things to do in the whole world.) They loved it, got soaked and cold and had a blast.

Rowen had a few accidents when we were there, falling down about 12 stairs, slipping off the cooler in the kitchen, his face colliding with the cabinets and the kitchen floor. But overall, we had so much fun. Rachel makes wonderful homemade food and inspired me to eat better and more fresh, home prepared meals. Oh, and she bakes! Banana bread, pumpkin cookies, and more, just in five days we were there. Maybe I should move closer! :)

Rachel took most of these photos, obviously the ones with me and the boys, and she does a great job. I have many of them framed in my house!

Happy Thanksgiving...

I still need to catch up on the vacation to California and I plan to do that really soon. But for now, here's a funny thing Will talked about on the way home from dinner tonight.

Will said, "When I am big and I can drive a car by myself can I go to DI? Buy some toys and then go home? And can I go to thrift town? Where else should I go?" He also talked about how he would drive Rowen around in his carseat, so when Will is 16, Rowen will still be in a carseat? So we were playing with our silly three year old's mind and told him that he could go find "chicks" (baby chickens) and pick them up and drive around with them. Then I said, and you can take them home, well, don't take them home, you can't take chicks home. Will said, "My daddy would say no bringing chicks home". Then he said, "I will pick up chicks and stomp on them until they are dead." I said, no you be nice to chicks, you kiss them. He then said, "I will kiss them and they will kiss me and then they will lick me and start biting me."

No joke. Just remember he is 3. He had no idea what he was saying but we were laughing so hard we were crying.

I am thankful for my silly 3 year old who can make me laugh. Who can also talk the entire way home for an hour. Really talk constantly for an hour. And who can scream, "I love you I love you I love you." I want to get upset for screaming in the car, but he's saying I love you, who can punish that? He is so sweet. And my silly baby who puts on his daddy's shoes and claps for himself! He is so sweet.

Amidst all of life's changes and challenges and disappointments, there is still plenty to be grateful for. With my new job, I get the duty or joy of seeing the sunrise in the morning, 5 days a week. Today I saw a herd of mountain goats, and I get to see stars, tons of stars, and breathe fresh mountain air (at 5 degrees). It's just beautiful. And I have wonderful friends and family. I could not get along without them. I am also thankful for space heaters.

Happy turkey day to you all!

Halloween

Thought everyone would like to see the Halloween costumes. I am proud to say they are homemade! My wonderful seamstress mother helped me with them, and I am really happy with the results. William's costume was a hit everywhere we went. He was so excited about it, he would bound into any room, run up to people (or into their houses while trick-or-treating) and say, "I'm Syndrome!" Which sounds like "synsssrome" when Will says it. And he talks so fast no one really knows what he's saying but us.



Rowen was Max from "Where the Wild Things Are". I was the monster who is also in that book. A lot of people thought Rowen was a rabbit, until they see the black tail, and then I have to explain. But a few people who are fans of the book got it right off the bat!



William, doing a Syndrome pose and eating a sucker! (The only treat he ate from trick or treating today! So far.)



A happy mama. With a costume that's really only half done. I need a black beard and a HUGE mouth with teeth, or as Will would say "owie teeth". I never did make the beard, but I did wear the makeup on Saturday to a Halloween party.



Our tails.



William got a new haircut tonight, I'll post pics of that soon. Actually Rowen had his first haircut the other day, inspired by the photo a couple of posts down from Home Depot. You'll see Rowen's hair getting really long above the ears. Ala Orthodox Jew. Don't know what it is, but genetically we must be Orthodox Jew, William had a similar hairstyle when he was this age. We just need to curl it and get black top hats for them.

And we are off to California tomorrow and there will be plenty of pics coming of that! Wish me luck on the 14 hour drive with two rambunctious boys who will be forced to sit in the car. What am I thinking? Oh yeah, redwoods, beaches, good friends, vacation, road trips....that's what I am thinking. But I do need some luck to survive the drive.

Family Travel

If anyone has a good tip for traveling a 14-ish hour drive with kids, let me know. But in my quest to find such information, I found this article. I will copy my favorite parts after the link. It really is what I should read about 5 times every day.



http://www.mothering.com/articles/growing_child/family-travel/pit-stops.html

If anything, being a mother has taught me pride has no place, plans are made to be broken, rules change constantly, dreams don’t always come true, and zippers in snowsuits seldom last longer than six weeks. It’s a profession of bewildering yet exhilarating proportions; qualifications are unnecessary, recognition is rare, and quitting time is nonexistent. The demands are colossal, but they are dwarfed by the rewards. Every day is an adventure. Every moment is precious. Every child is unique.

When my children are parents, I anticipate they’ll make the same miraculous discovery I did; mom’s mistakes weren’t as dreadful as imagined. I hope they'll be able to say that in our home hurts and adversity were soothed with the ointment of laughter, love and grace.

If my sons can take their places in this world as men of honor and distinction, then I will have done well indeed. It’s a responsibility and a privilege beyond mothering or fathering; it’s the living out and the passing on of all that is admirable, true, lovely, and good of the human spirit.

At times it’s a challenge I meet beautifully, but often I fail miserably. I believe, however, the road ahead will always abound with pit stops and pitfalls; it’s the way it’s traveled and the tracks we leave that count.


Well, there it is. I guess I am in a little introspective parenting mode these last two posts. Oh well, you'll either enjoy it, or you'll get over it. Either way it'll be okay. :)